Massage Horoscope - Choose your massage

Choosing a favorite massage center and a massage is not easy for any representative of the zodiac signs, and it often turns into a comedic action movie with elements of drama.

We love all zodiac signs. This text is for your amusement ♥

Aries, we know you're always in a hurry, but slow down; we can't give you a massage on the go...
Taurus, we have selected the most luxurious oils just for you...
Gemini, we promise our therapists can handle your chatter...
Dear Cancer, we can offer you the gentle touch you crave...
Sagittarius, we don't have motorized massage tables yet, but we can offer you a massage where you can dream about your next adventure...

How Aries Goes for a Massage. Which Massage is Suitable for Aries?

Aries arrives at the massage studio running, phone in one hand, coffee in the other, wondering if they should do a few more laps around the building before entering. With lively jumps, they inquire about the most invigorating massage because the word "relaxation" is absent from their vocabulary. It’s hard for them to choose from the available massages. They always have to add something from their endless creativity. Thus, they opt for a combination of sports and deep tissue massage plus reflexology and a head massage, and if all that can fit into one hour, even better. They find it difficult to stay in one place and sometimes interfere with the therapist by attempting to do sit-ups, twisting on the couch, or changing their pose. During the massage, plans for a mountain route over the weekend are already forming in their head.

Aries’ energy seems inexhaustible, and it’s an absolute miracle if they admit the need for body relaxation before complete exhaustion. It usually takes a while for them to fit a massage into their busy schedule, but it’s an excellent way to recharge their batteries for the next episode of the life-action movie in which they always play the lead role.

Imagine Aries bouncing into the studio, bursting with kinetic energy, and already making plans for their next big adventure while still on the massage table. Their need for constant motion and their struggle to stay still make every massage session a delightful challenge. As the therapist works through their knots and tensions, Aries is mentally plotting their next high-energy escapade, making the massage an integral part of their dynamic lifestyle.

In the spirit of Joe Sugarman's engaging and vivid style, picture Aries transforming their need for speed into a productive pause, where even their relaxation is a high-octane experience. This fiery sign needs massages that match their vigor, providing just enough pressure and stimulation to satisfy their perpetual drive.

How Taurus Goes for a Massage. Which Massage is Suitable for Taurus?

Taurus, leisurely and with high standards, chooses their massage studio. It must be luxurious, cozy, and have a pleasant aroma. Once they find their perfect spot, they become childishly trusting and loyal and love to bring gifts to their masseur to bribe them for a longer procedure.

Representatives of this zodiac sign are gods of pleasure, and the massage is a sacred ritual in their honor. Taurus enjoys long and aromatic procedures and opts for aroma massage, sea therapy, or the therapist's massage. They always know exactly what they want and dislike being contradicted once they choose. They will definitely choose the longest therapy – 80 minutes.

Before the massage, Taurus, with a dreamy look, will eat a few pieces of expensive chocolate to enhance the sensation of the upcoming pleasure, and then, with a happy sigh, they will let themselves be in the hands of the therapist and drift off into their world of physical and emotional bliss. At some point, they will surely get hungry, which can make them a bit nervous. Then, the gentle music and aromatic oils do the job. Taurus feeds with all their senses. After the procedure, they will eagerly take a whole grain sandwich from their designer bag and start eating with appetite.

Imagine Taurus entering the studio, their senses already tingling with anticipation. They savor each moment of the massage, indulging in the luxurious environment and the therapist's skilled hands. The combination of sensual pleasure and deep relaxation aligns perfectly with their need for comfort and enjoyment. The session is a ritual of indulgence, a time for Taurus to unwind and recharge in the most lavish way possible truly.

In the spirit of Joe Sugarman's engaging style, picture Taurus transforming the massage experience into a feast for the senses, where every touch, every aroma, and every sound contributes to their ultimate relaxation. This sign's love for luxury and comfort makes it the perfect candidate for a massage that relaxes the body and delights the soul.

How Geminis Go for a Massage. What Massage Suits Gemini?

When Geminis go for a massage, their mind becomes a real cacophony. Should they go for a massage or a movie or lie on the couch at home and watch their favorite TV show? Their inherent duality and uncertainty throw them into difficult and wavering decisions, especially when organizing their time. They research the benefits and types of massages and have a long and thorough debate with themselves before heading to the massage center. Halfway there, they congratulate themselves on the beautiful and reasonable decision, and the other half of the way, they look for a place to make a U-turn and go back home to do a load of laundry. Still, it's not worth it because they've already spent an hour creatively preparing for their outing.

If they manage to reach the massage studio, they will definitely tag themselves in front of the cabinet to tell all their friends that they finally found time for themselves amidst countless tasks. Upon arrival, they freeze in a stupor, wondering which massage to choose. In the end, they opt for a signature massage because it includes different and more massage techniques. However, throughout the session, they are not convinced they've made the right choice. For their own reassurance (and just in case) and to feed their big imagination, they add aroma and reflexology to their chosen procedure.

How Cancer Goes for a Massage. What Massage Suits Cancer?

Cancer reads a lot of literature about the history, benefits, and advantages of massage before booking a session. They easily enter the world of perfect fantasies and are deeply disappointed when their expectations don't match reality. They might leave in tears if the massage room doesn't resemble Nefertiti's bedroom, the masseur doesn't have the stature of an Egyptian warrior, or the aromatic essences aren't extracted from magical herbs of the Amazon jungle. Therefore, they always choose a studio that meets their creative and stylish nature.

Cancer loves everything related to water. They choose holistic marine therapy for the aroma and the sense of ocean and relaxation, which they need due to their deep sensitivity and need for rest. Before the therapy, they will undoubtedly share the new joke they learned at work with the therapist, as their solid and admirable sense of humor finds a way to manifest in everything they do.

Cancers are compassionate and don't complain about their problems but sincerely and deeply experience the troubles of others. So don't be surprised if you hear a Cancer softly sobbing and sighing during the massage. They likely remembered that their neighbor burned the gratin for the children's dinner and are now empathizing with her misfortune.

How Leo Goes for a Massage. What Massage Suits Leo?

Leo always enters the massage studio with a smile, slowly and majestically, precisely at the appointed time, with the heroic gait of a large and self-assured cat. By nature, they are kind and courteous, but their anger restlessly simmers and is ready to erupt if they feel neglected, have to wait for a little or don't become the center of attention instantly. Leos love to be petted behind their ears and over their glossy mane, so they are frequent clients of massage centers.

They prefer to decide for themselves the type and intensity of the massage, choosing the musical background and essential oils. They purr with pleasure and don't spare compliments when they feel in control of the situation and everything is according to their royal wishes. However, they will easily become irritated if the masseur presses too hard or a car alarm goes off in the street, disturbing their relaxation.

Leo's favorite therapy is a combination of several types of massage. They joyfully choose a restorative massage or therapist's massage in combination with reflexology, and when they want to pamper their senses and their always well-maintained, smooth skin, their preferred massage is the beautifying Beauty therapy. If they are satisfied, their generous and magnanimous personality will always reward the therapist with a lavish tip.

How Virgo Goes for a Massage. What Massage Suits Virgo?

Virgo gracefully makes her way to the massage studio, armed with an arsenal of cleaning supplies. She first inspects for dust on the furniture, theatrically wrinkling her nose if she finds any hygiene shortcomings. If she starts sneezing with exaggerated mannerisms, it means she’s highly displeased. Before the therapy begins, she critically examines the room, wipes down the massage table with chamomile-scented disinfectant wipes, and then hands the masseur a special massage oil with anti-inflammatory and antibacterial properties.

Virgo won't relax until she aligns the pictures' frames and moves the candles to the perfect spots, for which she expects well-deserved applause. Once everything is in order, she calmly reclines on the table for a relaxing or restorative massage, as these therapies recharge her with new strength and energy for the thousands of questions that need her expert opinion. Despite trying to relax, she never forgets to monitor the duration of the massage, as her time is meticulously planned to the last minute, following a well-structured and sequential schedule.

After the procedure, she traditionally orders coffee or tea because she has her own rules. She drinks it silently and then goes to wash the cup herself.

How Libras Go for a Massage. What Massage Suits Libra?

Libras are rarely seen out of balance. They love going for a massage without needing reminders, as the massage studio is their sanctuary for meditation and relaxation. They must be liked, so they strive to look impeccable artistically and unconventionally. If you see a slender figure in a black hat, veil, and mirrored sunglasses with horn-rimmed frames gliding towards the nearest massage center, rest assured that you haven’t encountered a scene from an aristocratic film – it’s a Libra going for a massage.

Representatives of this sign will patiently wait to be called, but they will always demand top-notch service because it’s their birthright. They don’t rush for anything; good things tend to happen to them effortlessly. As a result, they usually win vouchers for free massages and enjoy significant discounts and promotions.

Libras often hesitate when choosing a massage and prefer the therapist to recommend the most suitable option for them. When they finally decide, they choose Shiatsu, Thai massage, or a relaxing massage, as they are drawn to exotic experiences, even when it’s part of a relaxing procedure.

How Scorpio Goes for a Massage. What Massage Suits Scorpio?

Mysticism and esotericism draw Scorpio like a magnet. Their favorite massage studio features dark windows, black and red candles on the floor, enigmatic runes on the walls, and a large mirror inlaid with exotic stones on the ceiling. "Occult" is their password to the enlightened world. Instead of relaxing music, they prefer haunting Gothic melodies or the sound of raindrops mixed with the song of sea sirens.

By nature, Scorpios are silent and reserved but possess exquisite taste. They favor Thai massages, Shiatsu, and deep tissue massages, often combined with cupping or reflexology, to maintain the balance and strength of their energy. The secret to a perfect therapy is not to talk to them, ask questions, or distract them during the procedure. If someone tries to overstep the boundaries of their personal space, Scorpios will threaten with their sting, ready to strike wherever it lands. Scorpios do not easily share their emotions or give compliments. It's unclear if they are satisfied with the service and massage. If they are satisfied, they will call again without making promises. After the massage, they silently put on their leather trench coat and enter their blood-red sports car.

Imagine a Scorpio walking into the massage studio, the atmosphere charged with mystery and intensity. They carefully select their preferred therapies, always seeking something that aligns with their profound and enigmatic nature. The session proceeds in a silence that speaks volumes, each touch of the therapist’s hands delving deep into the layers of their tension, unearthing hidden stresses and energies. As the therapy concludes, the Scorpio leaves, recharged, and rebalanced, their inner world has found a moment of serene equilibrium.

How Sagittarius Goes for a Massage. What Massage Suits Sagittarius?

Sagittarius is an indefatigable optimist, so they head to a massage without making an appointment. Their remarkable luck usually ensures that there’s a free therapist available. If the schedule is full and they have to wait, Sagittarius, with a charming smile and not a trace of disappointment, leaves the studio and dances off to the nearest meadow, where they pass the time picking daisies and feeding the birds. They return to the massage center with unbridled enthusiasm and gift the vibrant bouquet to their favorite masseuse.

Sagittarius has thoroughly researched the benefits of every therapy, and even the therapist might envy their knowledge about the properties of each essential oil. They are always happy, whether they've chosen a relaxing, deep tissue massage, or an aromatherapy session, or even if the studio is closed for the day. It doesn’t matter if there’s construction noise next door or the neighbors hammer away on their bathroom – Sagittarians can see the good in everything and extract the best for themselves. Naturally, after the session, they won't forget to call those noisy neighbors to deliver a long moral lecture, complete with legal references (Sagittarians are always well-versed on all topics), about how the noise disturbs the health and well-being of the community.

How Capricorn Goes for a Massage. What Massage Suits Capricorn?

Capricorn is a physically and emotionally resilient zodiac sign and rarely admits to needing relaxation. They often visit the massage studio for prestige or because their secretary has slotted the procedure into their daily schedule. When that happens, they authoritatively enter the massage center, talking on their mobile phone, with an open laptop in one hand and a folder of documents in the other. They are always 15 minutes early and are very disciplined and responsible about their commitments.

Capricorns are workaholics, and if they’re not in a vital conference call with China during the massage therapy, they will undoubtedly offer an impressive business expansion plan with specific proposals and sub-points afterward.

Capricorns are vain. They are always looking for allies for their "grand proj"cts." It’s no s"rIt'se if, during a massage session, they don't stop thinking about their idea, vision for the future, or cause. For them, the perfect massage is classic because they believe that classics are a sign of class and style. They will choose a cupping massage if they feel fatigued, as they honor ancient traditions and time-tested methods. They view more modern therapies with skepticism and a specific dose of conservatism.

How Aquarius Goes for a Massage. What Massage Suits Aquarius?

Aquarius carries their nostalgia everywhere. These melancholic poets live in a world of intellect and intelligence, which makes them incredibly distracted. They’ll likely forget the day and time of their massage appointment, even if they set a “reminder” on their phone. When they finally arrive at the massage center, they cross the threshold, reciting Charles Baudelaire's poems, and carry a bouquet of fragrant geranium for the prettiest receptionist. They are always polite. They’re not overly concerned with bodily needs and prefer a massage that will touch their soul and momentarily remove them from the mutable and unstable reality, allowing them to indulge in their philosophical musings quietly.

They prefer a relaxing massage, therapist’s massage, and reflexology - procedures that touch the delicate strings of the Aquarian soul. Representatives of this zodiac sign appear thoughtful before, during, and after the massage session, but within their seriousness lies a universal optimism, and their sigh often replaces "Thank you." It’s possible that after the massage, they are so spaced out that they might forget their bag or jacket in the studio. Still, when they return a day or two later, they’ll remember to book another appointment, which they will most likely forget to attend again.

How Pisces Goes for a Massage. What Massage Suits Pisces?

Pisces timidly and silently peeks through the window of the massage center. Since a promotional sticker is stuck on the glass, blocking their view, they sit on the sidewalk, intuitively close their eyes, and try to activate their strong clairvoyant abilities to determine if there are any available appointments. If they have booked in advance, they will arrive half an hour early because they love to feel special, and the conversation before the massage is a crucial part of the entire procedure for them. For Pisces, the energy of the studio and the therapist is just as important as the procedure itself.

Because their lives are complex and often overwhelming, they seek something to balance them emotionally. Representatives of this zodiac sign often prefer Gua-Sha massage. It may cause them some mild discomfort, but they believe that pain is part of the evolution process and stoically endure it. After this therapy, they feel reborn and purified from physical and emotional toxins. Pisces have big hearts, and if they are satisfied with the procedure, they will definitely leave a positive review on Facebook.